After admitting that they experience profound melancholy, Halsey shared that they frequently worry if they made the right decision in pursuing the life they have now.
On Wednesday, the musician who uses she/they pronouns posted a message on their Instagram Story in which they stated, “I feel that often there is a deep pain inside me that no amount of worldly joy can touch, a solitude, and an emptiness.”
They placed this caption on top of a picture of lit candles: “I often worry if I made the wrong choice for myself by choosing this life.” Additionally, the burden of it is suffocating. I’m sorry that melancholy has seeped into my work to the point where it hasn’t served any bigger purpose than my own self-loathing, but it has.
They proceeded by saying, “I am approaching my 28th birthday in a week, and just now, I am inhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life when I was 18.” A single inhalation that was supposed to carry me through the next ten years.
The singer of Closer continued by saying that they have the impression that they are aimlessly traveling but that they are optimistic that they would soon discover the purpose of their lives through music.
They wrapped up the message by saying, “If you can’t be kind, at least be gentle,” before signing off with “with love.” After making a suicide attempt at the age of 17, which resulted in their admission to a mental health facility, Halsey has never been secretive about their struggle with bipolar disorder.
Since I started performing under the stage name Halsey, I have been hospitalized on two separate occasions, but no one is aware of this fact. In an interview with Rolling Stone published in 2019, the singer said about their ongoing challenges, “But I’m not ashamed of talking about it now.”